The Anglican Communion

I found a church where I could share and believe the same things as I do. Just along McKinley Road, where I usually pass by going to the office, there is this Anglican/Episcopalian Church, in front of a Catholic Church. I usually see the blue signage, but haven't really looked closer. Until one day, I tried to look closer. It says "Anglican". That did it. I am tired of being in the Evangelical wilderness.

I won't deny that deep inside, I could still feel sadness for leaving the Evangelical world. They're just too messy and diverse for me.

Years before, I was looking for a church that has a uniform set of basic beliefs. Unfortunately, I never found this in Protestantism. You have to adhere to a basic set of thoughts (e.g. Arminian, Calvinist, Wesleyan, etc.) before you become settled. The fact is, I really never have settled with any of these theologies.

With the Anglican Church, I am assured that Sunday after Sunday, we're not after some weird non-essential theology that will eventually form part of the church's non-negotiables. What's important to me is that I know that I am saved by the blood of Christ, not on some list of things to do so I could have a grand time here on earth.

I'll post the reasons why I became Anglican on my next entry.

Insecurities

I was not a happy adolescent.

College life was full of insecurities.

I can't believe I spent almost half of my college life sulking, depressed because I'm not as handsome/intelligent/popular like some of my friends were.

If I were to spend my life again as a college boy, I would stop being a nancy boy pouting because of the things he has none.

I feel so regretful right now...... *SIGH*

God have mercy on me, a sinner.

Church is for Sinners.. I guess..

Matthew 9:13
But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."


When I was younger, I would hear comments like "How can she go to church and live a sinful life?". In short, if you sin, you shouldn't go to church. If you go to church, the best Christian gesture you'll receive is a nod from the ushers.

Then what happens to what Jesus said - I have not come to call the righteous but sinners?

What else - should we avoid sinners?

Bad company corrupts - indeed, but why did Jesus hang out with all those sinners within those three years of ministry? Because He is God, he cannot be corrupted?
Then if that is the reason why He hasn't been corrupted, then why do we keep on saying that Jesus should be a model to us?

If Jesus is a model, then why shouldn't we hang around more with sinners? Because we might get corrupted? The question just goes around in circle.

Or a better interpretation should be this - be in the world, but not OF the world? I think this would be a better reconciliation of the matter.

I just don't understand some Christians who wants nothing to do/deal with non-Christians because they are sinners and might be infected with sin like AH1N1 does? Don't they need you more than people who are Christians already?

If the Old Testament dudes were in church today, how will things be for them? Most of them have wrecked marriages, drunkards, liars, and stuff. Or would you rather answer by saying that I have a wrong question?

Wealth

Matthew 6:19-20 (New International Version)
19"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. 20But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal.


I am hurting too many Evangelicals now by this post.

God's plan for us is good. Yes, it is a plan to prosper us and not to harm us.

But never did the Bible mention any guarantee that we'll get rich after accepting Jesus Christ as our Saviour.

God left us with the tools to be rich, and these tools are principles to be rich. Even non-believers also have access to these tools (which explains why there are non-Christians who are rich). These tools are principles that you should abide by like saving, investing, giving, etc.

But puh-leassse! To be poor is not a sin!

And please stop forcing into my beliefs that Jesus Christ was really a rich man when He walked here. There is no such explicit teching in the Bible about Jesus' financial situation.

You know why there's no emphasis on that huh?! It's because money is never an important issue.

Jesus came and died and was raised up not because He wants to get us all wealthy and healthy in this earth. He did those things in order for our spirits to live! That is the pure and unadulterated Gospel.

Sad to say, the word "salvation" has been stretched too much by a lot of Christians, including the church I am attending in. Salvation for them is wholeness, not only in spiritual, but in physical terms too like wealth and health.

For me, I am happy enough to know that my soul will be saved in the end. Assurance that I'll be prosperous in this life doesn't give me comfort. Some Evangelicals will say that this is hypocrisy.

Yes, physical things such as money is still important in these lives of ours, but to focus too much on these things is just plain wrong. It is enough that outside church we are bombarded with things that motivates us to earn more money, but talking about it in church too much is what makes me cringe every Sunday.

Physical things are just temporary. Why do we concentrate too much on these things?

You will have your dream house soon, don't worry.

You will have your business soon, don't worry.

But to measure your spiritual life based on these things is just plain wrong.

Why am I still here toiling for my dream house? Is my faith lacking? Why is my business failing? Is my faith lacking? Do I have anything in me that displeases God?

You think because we are Christians, we are operating outside of the world? That we are immune to accidents, poverty, tragedies?

If you think we are immune to these things, please do tell Steve Green and make him feel that he is a less Christian than you. Please go and tell Sandi Patty that she has been a bitch slut and that she might be not a Christian because she underwent divorce. Don't forget to slap her after doing so.

Weaknesses

2 Corinthians 12:9 (New International Version)

9But he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me.

Too many times we are taught to be the nicest Christians who live on the face of the earth.

I was raised thinking that Christians should be somehow an epitome of excellence, perfection, and all that. Regularly reading the Bible and praying.

That was until the big scandal happened in the church where I used to attend. That was almost ten years ago. How can a Christian leader commit such atrocity? - I asked myself.

This led to the start of my journey being an agnostic and a church hater. Sometimes I think that being an atheist is better because at least if you're one, there is no possibility that you hate God because you cannot hate someone who doesn't exist, whereas being an agnostic, there is a possibility that the person might hate God.

By God's grace, I'm back to my original beliefs and I'm starting to seek involvement in a church where God wants me to be planted.

I backslid because of wrong ideals. Christians are also humans. I expected too much from our church leaders, to the point that they shouldn't commit such grave sins or else I'll leave the church.

Oh yes, we shouldn't use our humanity as an excuse for these acts, but we shouldn't also deny the humanity of our spiritual leaders in the church. We are all WEAK after all.

Wait! This is the opposite of what preachers today are preaching. Get free from the bondage of sin! You are victorious! You are rich! You are healhty! Aren't these the things we should believe in??

How can God's strength be of use to us if we aren't weak?

Tired, tired, tired...

It is very perplexing! I find myself at the middle of all these madness.....

I am very disappointed with everything right now. My job, the church, myself, name it, you got it.

Only one thing I am very sure of right now - I am no Pentecostal

No matter how I reconcile things, no matter how I pray hard and read the Word, it really doesn't fit in me.

To each his own - I am no longer under anybody's denomination.

Still finding the right job for me. And despite the disappointment in not having one yet, I find the comfort with searching God's truth. I know I will find it. Of course there is no perfect denomination, so I really just have to find one that I can really be myself with. No, I'm not changing religion or anything, but what I am looking for is one that I can relate to.

After years of reflecting, I came to a conclusion that I have different values than that of my mom's. She flourishes in a Pentecostal setup, but I don't because what I seek is a church that is not too showy, not too dynamic, not a church that lean towards prosperity.

I am really offended by prosperity gospel. For a time, I was just accepting the points of it, just getting by. However, as time goes by, I really am still not in agreement with it, more so comfortable with it. And I don't think I will be ever comfortable with it.

This may offend the members of the church I am going to, but the heck with it - I am a very simple person. I have no delusions, nor any plans to get filthy rich or to be in an "abundant" place as so many preachers would encourage their flock to get into. I just wanted to have enough. Enough money so I could help other people, enough assets to just survive. I know that I am not sinning with these thoughts in mind.

Them Televangelists!

I am worried with my mom. She is watching all these TBN/Daystar stuff. At first it was ok with me (which started last year), but now, as I hear these shameless preachers ask for money through donations/credit cards, I began questioning these word-faith preachers of their credibility. I also hate hearing those nigger preachers belting out their prosperity teachings, that's why I lock myself up in my room once my mom turn to those channels.

TBN, under Marilyn's show has this healing cloth which can be ordered. Ridiculous and cheap as well!

Mama might not know that Benny Hinn is popularly known as a fraud/false prophet. There are prophecies that did not come true and when I watch his show, I am not convinced that all of them are really healed. And I do not understand as to how COP, the church I am attending now, came to sponsor/accomodate him in his crusades here in the Philippines.

I'm A Fool

God has revealed to me, and is still continuing to reveal me, how much of a fool I have been (and I still am).

I'm young and foolish. At least I know now.

I haven't been taking the antidote for foolishness. Indeed, I am a fool! I drank again from the bowl of carnality.

I thought that being born again can put an end to all sufferings and conflicts. I was wrong. It was only the beginning. Being born again is to swim against the current. It is so hard.

Mahirap pala.

My Life - Another Way of Viewing It

I have already posted entries of my life in my previous blogs. In this entry, I will concentrate on my spiritual background since childhood.

In hindsight, I believe that I did have a superb childhood, contrary to what I thought when I was still an angry post teener. The activities I joined in during my childhood has affected my view on God, the Bible, and His people.

Yesterday, my Mom told me how I covered my bald head in the church when I was only two years old. And yes, I did remember that I got my head shaven that time and people were trying to feel my head. Reflecting on that incident, I asked myself? What made think that being bald is something to be ashamed of? This is digression already.

Going back to my point. My earliest memories were from a local church we have been attending for seventeen years. All of us siblings have been raised in a Protestant church whose ideals are a fusion of those Evangelicals and Fundamentalist Baptist.

We grew together in a Sunday School, where we met other friends to grow and be friends with. This was the start of my knowledge on God's Word. Little did I know that later on, as I grow (but regress spiritually), I would misuse and abuse His Word for my own ends.

I excelled in Sunday school, garnered awards, special awards. I sang in church. Singing is the very first talent of mine that I discovered.

Looking back, I am thankful for the strong Biblical foundational teachings our Sunday school teachers laid on us. Our head Sunday school teacher before was the wife of our former head pastor. We were taught of almost all the Old Testament stories, we took profiles of each books. We sang a Bible song just for us to memorize the books in order. I just wonder why I have little memories of stories told to us from the book of Acts to Revelations.

As my knowledge grew in time, I found myself drifted away from God. How was that so? Over time, I reckon that what I had is knowledge without wisdom. I have become only a 'hearer' of the Word.

Here I am, after twenty four years of church. It feels like I am back at square one. I have no wisdom and it hurts to realize that you have wasted your college years on worthless activities. This is why I am seeking God. He promised that if I seek Him, I shall find Him. May He bless me with the spiritual journey I am now embarked on.

Rationale

This blog is an outlet of my personal critique/analysis of religions, doctrines, faith, etc. I have to warn you that I am no theologian. I am just an eager soul who wants to know the Truth. I am a believer of God.

Whose God you might ask? I believe on the One True God of Abraham, Isaac and Jacob. The very same God who led the Israelites out of Egypt to the promised land. The same God who manifested in the Flesh to understand our lives as human. The very same God who went down at the day of Pentecost who bears witness to our salvation. Our Yahweh, Our Jehovah Jireh, Jehova Rafa, our El Shaddai, our Redeemer, Yeshua, the Holy Trinity. May I find His truth as I search for It.